G-Star Visual Merchandising Store Directive Essay

G-Star Visual Merchandising Store Directive - Essay Example Geographic Segmentation†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦...4 SWOT Analysis †¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..4 Designers †¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦.5 Trends and Fashion†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..6 Visual Merchandising...†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦...6 References †¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â ‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..10 Executive Summary Christmas season is viewed as the busiest season regarding shopping. Bardot Retail Store of articles of clothing and garments has wanted to dispatch another scope of fashioner assortment under the brand name of G-Star particularly for Christmas season. This assortment includes items, for example, attire, frill, shoes and other related things for men, ladies and youngsters. The dispatch is being started especially for the period of Christmas and will be off in different seasons. By doing the money saving advantage investigation, it is normal that like every past development and attire lines of Bardot, G-star will likewise end up being an effective retail business in the style business. It is providing food current market as well as pre-arranged of taking advantage of things to come generation ’s decision. ... The store will serve the two grown-ups and youthful. New and new assortment arranged and sorted out by famous architects will be shown. G-star is seeking after for built up attire line business, endeavoring to give intense rivalry to other retail dress stores. Notwithstanding nearby buyers, sightseers will likewise be profited by the wide assortment of articles of clothing offered by G-star. Urban attire line has consistently been of incredible enthusiasm to shoppers and they never waver in purchasing and attempting new style of garments. Target Market Target Market for G-star Apparel brand is chosen based on segment, psychographic, social and geographic highlights. Regularly, in the period of Christmas there comes no significant grouping of target advertise as Christmas is an equivalent chance to celebrate for everybody particularly in European nations. Further depiction of target advertise is given in the resulting passages I. Segment Segmentation Demographics spread the factors, f or example, pay, sexual orientation, age gathering, occupation and so on. G-star is fundamentally centering individuals who originate from a normal salary gathering. People who can stand to burn through 20% of their salary on dress, decorating and individual consideration are chosen as the essential objective market. Both the sexual orientation, male and female will be a piece of chosen target showcase. Age groupings that are fundamentally engaged comprise old enough section of 15 to 40 years so as to provide food the greatest number of clients. Nonetheless, extraordinary section of kids’ pieces of clothing will likewise be accessible under this brand. Socioeconomics additionally spread the sort of control of the expected clients. This segment is secured under the head of pay level. ii. Psychographic Segmentation Psychographic division depends on the mental perspectives

The impact of Western society on the music cultures of other societies in the world

Presentation The effect of the Western Society has been contended to be very in massive all through the mankind's history. In any case the size of impact, it is incomprehensible for an individual or society to guarantee resistance against the entrance and extreme effect on the Western Society.Advertising We will compose a custom article test on The effect of Western culture on the music societies of different social orders on the planet explicitly for you for just $16.05 $11/page Learn More The most astounding thing is that every one of these parts of our personalities convey either noticeable or undetectable components of the Western Society. All things considered, of extraordinary centrality has been the development of music societies in various world areas. On the off chance that any locale of the world was to break down its music culture today and contrast it with what is utilized with be considered as a culture decades back, what the future watched is a meaningful and quantifiab le size of progress (Eaton 360). This exposition, along these lines, talks about the effect of the Western Society on the music societies of social orders from at any rate two world areas shrouded in the course. Australasia Oceania The accompanying sections clarify the parts of Australian music culture, including instruments, melodies and a portion of the capacities in which music assumes a key job. Wangga This is a conventional music type in Australia that began from the northern area of the nation quite a long while prior. The tune is fundamentally played during the specific capacities like circumcision of young men, arranging the property of an expired individual or for a general amusement in the nation. Customarily, the tune is accepted to be conveyed to songmen by spirits around evening time as dreams. Like some other music, Wangga has a few melodic attributes like content and vocables that are strophic combined with melodic lines that are short, beneath eight octaves (Richards 19).Advertising Looking for paper on craftsmanship and structure? How about we check whether we can support you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More Accompanied with Didjeridu which keeps up a consistent automaton, the music gets its measurement feel from applaud sticks, in spite of the fact that the music is by and large non-metric. Note that ceremonial melodies assume a center job in the lives of Australians and the individuals who abuse them hazard being assaulted by spirits, as depicted by the conventionalists. Despite the fact that this was the pattern decades prior, the first job and acknowledgment of Wangga and other customary music types is blurring off (Richards 188). Because of the efficient bigotry that was proliferated by various individuals like Captain Cook, Australian music culture has consistently been put very nearly being dominated by the outside societies from Western nations and different pieces of the world. What are a portion of the variables that hav e added to this? Australian music has been influenced by settlers from the West. Being a nation ruled by settlers, the underlying society of the nation has been dissolved for progressing ethnocentric plan against the locals. For example, Euro-Australian denial of the Aboriginal dialects was a method of guaranteeing that social personality of the Aboriginals was looked out from the front and supplanted by a mixture culture that showed the components of foreigners and the Western world (Davis 230). Another manner by which the Western Society has impacted the Australian music culture is through instruction. With the happening to European teachers to Australia, a few things changed including the instruction framework which slanted toward the West, leaving the way of life an undermined and temperamental state.Advertising We will compose a custom paper test on The effect of Western culture on the music societies of different social orders on the planet explicitly for you for just $16.05 $ 11/page Learn More The training framework additionally underscored the utilization of outside and worldwide dialects, along these lines bringing down the intensity of local youngsters to learn and value their music culture without Western impedance (Bennett 80). Australia has kept up its binds with European nations for exchange and other financial connections. Thus, a few outside types of culture have discovered a path into the nation, diverting individuals from what they knew as social music (Davis 226). The effect of all these can be seen through a few signs in Australian music. For example, numerous youthful Aboriginals can't learn ceremonial practices and the job of music that is as of now known to a couple of older individuals in the nation. Numerous adolescents have been affected by hip-jump culture and other English melodies. As a rule, Australian music culture has been influenced through the relinquishment of Aboriginal language, presentation of Western instruction, industri alization and exchange. Sub-Saharan Africa Sub-Saharan Africa involves individuals who communicate in various dialects and buy in to different music sorts (May 172). At the end of the day, the music culture of the district can't be portrayed all in all as it is a system of interweaved social strands. Another part of Sub-Saharan Africa music culture is its significant level of limitations and altered conventions that are normally one of a kind to a given gathering of individuals. This is to state that one town will most likely be unable to perceive the significance of their neighbors’ culture due to its uniqueness. The inquiry which we have to answer is whether there are any bringing together highlights inside the music culture of Sub-Saharan Africa. It has been discovered that Sub-Saharan African music relies upon layered parts, which might be shared among a few melodies not at all like in different situations where music is principle include in the autonomous layered parts ( May 179).Advertising Searching for paper on craftsmanship and structure? We should check whether we can support you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Find out More This methodology includes playing of various music strands all the while to deliver vertical multifaceted nature that is felt through the surface of music. Different highlights incorporate cadenced intricacy, polymetre and reiteration of specific parts during an introduction. Numerous Africans contend that Western Music is mono-cadenced, a property that makes it exhausting and unappealing. As noted before, Sub-Saharan Africa is made of various gatherings of individuals who have various economies and diverse music. Subsequently, they have a wide scope of versatile systems for meeting their day by day needs. They have diverse music sounds, practices and emotionally supportive networks to continue them. For example, occupants of the downpour woods area don't represent considerable authority in any music and grasp straightforward innovation. Then again, the dwarfs have barely any instruments, which are played by experts. They additionally applaud during melodic exhibitions with their mus ic utilizing vocables (May 172). Not at all like the occupants of the two areas above, woods tenants are musically composed with a wide assortment of instruments. Also, they have directed music specialization that permits them to have redone music association. Despite the fact that some Sub-Saharan Africans don't have music association and specialization, their music has gotten famous on the planet, drawing the consideration of individuals from different locales. For example, Kora, a typical string instrument in West Africa has picked up prominence in worldwide â€Å"world music† (Kubik 432). With expanding request and consideration for Sub-Saharan African music, the locale has seen instances of commercialization and commoditization of its music by artists from different societies around the world. Many accept that Sub-Saharan African music culture has roused a few performers from the West through social cooperation and other shared connections. On account of the extravagance of Sub-Saharan African music, different societies have acquired from it with no type of attribution. This is normal with Jazz, pop and blues which the Western Society altogether obtained from Sub-Saharan Africa area. How the western music has penetrated into Australian and African Music The first and exceptionally clear component indicating the invasion of the western music culture into the African just as Australian music are the instruments utilized. Bit by bit, the African music instruments are being consigned to the exhibition halls as artists embrace the cutting edge westernized music instruments. A similar case supposedly applies in the Australian setting. This has prompted the writers of local music from Africa just as from Australia embracing a portion of the cutting edge music instruments in making the local music (Scaruffi 1). Another component that is very clear is the motivation behind music. Much of the time, western music is absolutely implied for diversion yet the Af rican and Australian music fills more than the amusement need. Music in the African setting played a particular reason, for example, there are circumcision tunes, which were just sung during a predefined period, and planting melodies were just implied for the planting seasons. It is obvious that generally, music in Africa and Australia is ceaselessly being made to serve all season around and, specifically, to engage. In the African setting, burial service melodies, for instance, must be sung during memorial service minutes however with the invasion of the western music, burial service tunes have been changed to be sang throughout the entire year regardless of the current period. African and Australia local music was very traditionalist and specific in their crowd and the selection of words utilized by the writer. For example, there was music, explicitly for kids which elderly individuals couldn't sing by any means. This is gradually changing and music is being formed to be totally a djusted. There were a few words, which couldn't be found in music; words which legitimately alluded to activities of sex and other related words were stayed away from yet the current pattern is that these are the words which are turning into the buzzwords (Nettl 237). For the most part, western music has a lot to do with be

Quiapo Paper free essay sample

Dy, James Andrew D. SA 21-C Silva, Maria Patricia T. Walk 8, 2011 Uy, Christian R. Better Catholics and Better Filipinos Catholicism in the Philippines at the present time, is pervasive, loaded up with a wide range of convictions and qualities that are continually being rehearsed by the Filipinos. How precisely did this Catholicism become? It was first acquainted with the Filipino individuals by the Spaniards, our past colonizers, and this was what they previously used to teach and to socialize the bygone Filipino individuals. At that point, the Filipinos, however saw to be oversimplified, and were behind as far as innovation, expressions, and so forth in contrast with the western world, they previously had their own way of life, with its own arrangement of individual conviction and qualities, and in this manner, the Spaniards themselves were discovering it fairly hard to just encourage their conviction of Catholicism to the locals when they previously had confidence in something different. So as to control through this and still have the option to proclaim Catholicism, rather than dominating and deleting the Filipino culture, shockingly, the inverse occurred. The new lessons of the Catholic confidence were mixed and joined with the prior convictions of the locals. Straight to the point Lynch characterizes Folk Catholicism as the mix of the way of life of the Filipinos to the standard Catholic strict convictions, and that is the means by which Folk Catholicism is shaped. Right up 'til today, Folk Catholicism is a lot of predominant in the nation, and in actuality it tends to be normally observed among the individuals. The greatest confirmation of which, is the assignment of Catholic convictions to Filipino culture can be found in the manner we praise our own one of a kind celebrations in the Philippines and the manner in which we celebrate realized occasions like Lent, Christmas and even the Feasts of the Dead, these have become appropriated to the Philippine Culture to be revolved around family and network solidarity. At last, Lynch accepted that the manner in which Catholicism was appropriated with the Filipino Culture was an incredible method of advancing the Catholic confidence, for it had the option to assist them with bettering comprehend and live Christs message. The Catholic confidence has been showed in a physical structure that is extremely Filipino, and in this manner, it encourages the Filipinos themselves to live by the lessons. Notwithstanding that, as what was recently expressed, the Folk Catholicism that has been made hardens the network and the amily, consequently bearing evidence that being Better Catholics did without a doubt push the Filipinos to turn out to be better themselves. In any case, through the progression of time, and with all the progressions that has happened mechanically, socially and so on , can this sentiment despite everything hold up? Has Folk Catholicism kept on being corresponding to the first Catholic confidence? The response to that question exists in the c ore of Manila, in Quiapo Church and Plaza Miranda. In the mishmash of individuals, gear and apparently arbitrary mess of things and convictions, there lies the most genuine type of the current Folk Catholicism. To begin, inside the bounds of the Quiapo Church, we had the option to see an extremely serious appearing of confidence by the fans, from those sitting in theâ pews, admitting to clerics andâ even to the individuals who wereâ slowly advancing through the middle walkway while bowing. Thousandsâ of these enthusiasts run inside the congregation to supplicate and admit, and ofâ course, to observe the Black Nazarene, the benefactor of the Basilica of Quiapo. An act of which incorporates the pahalik, where fans hang tight for their go to contact theâ foot of the Black Nazarene picture close to the special raised area. There is even theâ gift of pictures of the Black Nazarene after each mass which fills in as a consistent update that there is a God whom they love and solidly have faith in, and most magnificently, Catholics, Filipinos and outsiders the same, assemble to witness theâ parade of the Black Nazarene around Manila one in which they actually battleâ for position to find the opportunity of having their materials, rosaries, andâ different extras favored by the Black Nazarene through a straightforward touch to the picture. Obviously, the intensity of the Catholic Faith is solid inside the Quiapo Church. Promptly outside be that as it may, is an alternate story. In Plaza Miranda, it appears as though everything is inverse. There are ladies who, for a charge, would implore the whole Rosary for any individual who needs a supplication however is too occupied to even think about doing so. Also,â vendors are everywhere selling various and exoticâ products. Some sell special necklaces of security or â€Å"agimat†, some sellâ different home grown meds, and some even sell enchanted stones said toâ grant the conveyor imperceptibility and assurance over all things, and generally striking of everything is the nearness of crystal gazers who, for a measly 100 pesos, will utilize palmistry and various diverse tarot card readings to anticipate your future, a very indication of the Occult which the Church is particularly against. Everything there, from the ornaments, and most explicitly the crystal gazers are all eemingly against the churchs lessons, and along these lines it appears as though the supposition and conviction of Frank Lynch with respect to the inspiration of Folk Catholicism has been apparently refuted. Apparently. At the beginning, everything that is inside the congregation is so massivelyâ different based on what is outside. It is simple for one to believe that the goals the two segments have become direct inverses that the congregation andâ the gathering of psychics and spiritualist merchants outside are inâ opposition with one another. Be that as it may, when we had the option to meet both theâ fortune-tellers and the spiritualist sellers, they did to be sure appear to veer off from what the congregation educates by expressing both remarkable things (for theâ vendors) and mysterious advices (for the seers), anyway theâ main purpose of what them two said were exceptionally amazing and familiar; â€Å"You will get what you dream and need, in the event that you endeavor hard and implore God. † actually, even while giving your fortune, the soothsayer keeps on referencing supplication to God, and proceeded with veneration towards Him similar to the most significant piece of carrying on with your life. From that announcement, and from our perceptions around Quiapo, it can beâ seen that what has been accepted to be Folk Catholicism from previously, has not quite changed today. The convictions and qualities rotating around the proceeded with solidarity of the family and the network is still particularly alive, as found in the uproar of individuals both inside and outside of the congregation, the vast majority of which are made out of (much like previously) families. With everything taken into account, the manner in which individuals have experienced their confidence, when contrasted with the Folk Catholicism of the past, to be sure has changed. In any case, the change that has occurred, didn't influence the guiding principle of our Folk Catholicism that was finished up by Frank Lynch. Right up 'til the present time, our emphasis on the family and the network despite everything keep on looking like the expressions of Frank Lynch; Folk Catholicism has helped us become better Filipinos and better Catholics.

Naked and Free in The Awakening :: Chopin Awakening Essays

Bare and Free in The Awakening    The Awakening, by Kate Chopin appears to fit conveniently into twentieth century ideals.  Chopin tends to mental issues that more likely than not been hard for individuals of the late nineteenth century to grasp.  Just as Edna kicked the bucket a sudden passing, Chopin's book passed on too.  The dismissal of this book, at that point, amusingly exhibits the weight numerous ladies more likely than not felt to comply with society.  Chopin shows the peruser, through Edna Pontellier, that society confines ladies the privilege to individuality.  This limitation by society can be found in the apparel Victorian ladies wore during the time.     For instance, we consider garments to be as a significant illustration in the story.  Victorian ladies' apparel was incredibly keeping, much like their life.  The garments can be viewed as a sort of confine which is obvious when we see Edna and Adele strolling to the sea shore in section seven.  Adele wore a cloak, doe skin gloves, white gauntlets ... was wearing unadulterated white, with a fleeciness of unsettles that turned into her (478).  Adele was the perfect of beauty.  Edna, then again, wore a cool muslin that morning ... a white material neckline and a major straw cap (478).  We discover that an easygoing and indiscriminating spectator ... probably won't cast a subsequent look (478) towards Edna.  The way that Edna was just dressed indicated her non congruity towards society's standards.  When the two ladies get to the sea shore, Edna evacuates her neckline and unfastens her dress at the throat .  Her choice not to wear all the articles of clothing is an allude to the defiance to come.   Another conspicuous case of the imagery of dress is seen toward the finish of the novel when Edna evacuates every last bit of her attire before submitting suicide.  Chopin composes that when Edna was there close to the ocean, completely alone, she cast the horrendous, prickling articles of clothing from her, and without precedent for her life stood bare in the outside (558).  Edna is by all accounts expelling her last limitations before discovering her opportunity in death.  This last defiance to society appears to give Edna her last awakening.  This enlivening can be seen when Chopin expresses, She felt like some new conceived animal opening its eyes in a natural world that it had never known (558).

Organizational Assessment Restructuring and Evidence †Free Samples

Question: Examine about the Organizational Assessment Restructuring and Evidence. Answer: Presentation: 3M1 is an imaginative association. It is another association and inside a range of 100 years, it has gotten one of the most creative association of the world. The organization has been profoundly inventive association; in any case, from the most recent couple of years, the advancement ability of the association has declined. The present report breaks down the issues in the development capacities of the association. One of the significant issues that the organization is confronting is the manner by which the organization works. Since, the organization centers around advancements and procedures of development; in this manner, it is significant for the organization to ad lib routinely with the approach of new innovation and the recognizable proof of new needs. The organization is over 100 years of age. Therefore, the advances utilized are generally crude and dependent on old strategies. Be that as it may, with the advancement of new advances, the contenders are utilizing these enhanced and ad libbed advances furthering their potential benefit. This is awful for the organization since customers are showing signs of improvement and quicker outcomes from the contenders (Bansemir, 2013). Since, the more up to date advances give results a lot quicker and in effective way, so clients are moving toward contenders to get quicker outcomes. The association is exceptionally enormous in size; along these line s, it is hard to embrace new advances and the creation procedures. The representatives are likewise acquainted with utilize the conventional techniques for the business tasks and the procedures of the association. So as to effectively actualize new advancements, it is critical to prepare the representatives in new innovations which in itself is a difficult as far as cost and exertion. Issues because of Social Determinism The social determinism hypothesis expresses that the conduct of an individual or an association is needy upon the social collaborations and builds. It implies that an individual carry on in a specific way or his character is created in understanding to his past conduct. The organization is confronting troubles since it is carrying on in understanding to social determinism hypothesis. The organization is utilizing past strategies for the inventive thoughts. Nonetheless, with the headway in advancements, the contenders are utilizing various types of techniques, for example, conceptualizing to infer thoughts of developments. Despite the fact that the organization needs to encourage advancement as it is reliant upon the development capacity of the association, the organization has built up specific frameworks for advancement and it is hard to alter it. If there should be an occurrence of 3M1, social thoughts assume noteworthy job in deciding the advancements that are brought by the organization. Therefore the developments are steady (Daugherty, 2015). In spite of the fact that the organization energizes opportunity of musings, the workers are hesitant to take part in creative thoughts as they fear disappointment. There is consistently the likelihood of disappointment and chances that the thoughts won't work out. In some cases, advancements is additionally subject to incidental achievement. In any case, it is imperative to give explicit condition wherein the representatives have available time and inventiveness to energize in creative thoughts. Also the new associations are utilizing current strategies to succeed. Thus, the continually embracing new innovation will be a test for the organization (Lin, Chen Su, 2017). The organization ought to embrace to present day strategies and begin utilizing advances for developments. Issues because of Dominating Workers The organization has given many benefits to the workers. The organization understands that keeping the representatives happy with the work is fundamental in expanding the profitability of the association. The businesses understand that giving adaptable and positive condition is important to build the presentation of the workers. Notwithstanding, once in a while this methodology doesn't work in the kindness of the organization. That is on the grounds that the representatives neglect to convey thoughts that are not entirely plausible. Giving extra time may alter the productivity of the association. The arrangement of the organization permits the laborers to deal with thoughts in their free and relaxation time. This has negative effect on the exhibition of the organization on the grounds that there is a high likelihood that the laborers would neglect to convey. Another arrangement that the organization has received is to permit the laborers to go for bootlegging (Hodges, 2016). The orga nization has been giving the workers an excessive amount of freedom that may cause in diminished execution of the organization. The organization should actualize powerful regulatory framework in which the chiefs would have the option to execute inventive procedures to energize development inside the association. The organization has nearness in excess of 20 nations and has an exceptionally huge and expanded workforce. There is countless female workforce in the association. The business association understands that bringing enhanced workforce can bring new thoughts inside the association which can support advancement in the association. Be that as it may, it has been seen much of the time that the females are increasingly inventive and worried for the stylish excellence of the client items. The females have a tendency towards the stylish magnificence and can configuration outwardly engaging items (Brynjolfsson Saunders, 2013). Along these lines, they ought to be a piece of the advancement group of the association. Thusly, the organization ought to embrace approaches to prepare the female staffs with the most recent advancements in a sorted out way (Morais da Costa, 2011). The organization ought to likewise begin selecting female representatives who are knowledgeable with most recent innovations and have the enthusiasm to learn them. The organization needs to name female workers who are better versed with most recent advancements on the grounds that in the field of developments, innovations assume noteworthy job and delegating females with information in advances would assist with improving the presentation of the or ganization. Once in a while, it is likewise observed that the female workers have various types of complicacies (Organizational Restructuring, 2016). The organization needs to create strategies and rules to improve the working conditions for female specialists. Issues related to End User Innovation The organization follows the approach of development which is centered around the end client requests. The organization presents thoughts remembering the requests of the customers. The organization wants to convey the thoughts dependent on the requests of the clients. The organization attempts to comprehend the requests of the clients and plan the advancements appropriately. Notwithstanding, this may end up being an issue for the organization. Once in a while, the requests of the clients are extremely clumsy and the organization neglects to convey as a result of a few reasons (Rossignoli, Gatti Agrifoglio, 2016). One of the normal explanations behind the disappointment is the inadequacy of the providers. This ought to be forestalled in light of the fact that it has antagonistic impact on the notoriety of the organization. The organization ought to have thoughts regarding the abilities of the providers and ought to acknowledge orders from the clients in like manner. The organization has a built up a culture of advancement in its working systems. The organization inclines toward the representatives to build up a propensity for utilizing creative thoughts in regular day to day existence. Indeed, even in the authoritative capacities the organization inspires the workers to utilize inventive thoughts. This culture has been created by introducing tales and case accounts to rouse representatives (Chandler, 2016). Be that as it may, with the present ages, it is hard to persuade workers in such a manner. The present age depends on raw numbers. The organization should attempt to persuade the workers by giving raw numbers instead of utilizing past cases. The way of life of development ought to be sustained by giving present case situations and utilizing raw numbers as verifications. The organization professes to be founded generally on advancements and utilization of advances to realize developments. The organization centers around utilizing advancements to bring developments. Anyway it ought to be remembered that the organization is over 100 years of age. Therefore the advancements that are being utilized in the organization are very old and require refreshing. Correspondences has likewise advanced by a lot as the years progressed. The organization needs to change its foundation in like manner to make it sure that it is at standard with the most recent advancements (Lewis, 2013). The organization needs to present innovations so correspondences in the association improves and permits the workers to speak with one another in a superior and ad libbed way. Since correspondence is vital for composed works, along these lines it is significant for the organization to create interchanges so the representatives can speak with one another in a considerably more effective way so the presentation of the organization improves. Issues related to economy and occupation The organization needs to improve its work situation. The organization permits the workers to embrace any sort of measures so as to bring achievement and advancements. Once in a while these strategies are not so much right and may cause issues. The organization needs to receive advances with the goal that the representatives follow legitimate hard working attitudes to such an extent that no moral issues are caused because of their operational procedures. The organization permits the workers to contraband. This procedure may make the organization face lawful and legitimate issues (Bean, 2011). Furthermore the organization permits the representatives to work under any conditions they find reasonable. This can be a significant issue for the organization in light of the fact that occasionally the laborers may give considerable need while working. In such cases the organization needs to follow exacting and all around created administrative plans. So as to defeat the difficulties looked by the organization because of progression of advances, the organization needs to receive progressed and very much created advances so the organization remains at standard with eth contenders. So as to do so the

Margin vs Markup Explained

Margin vs Markup Explained I cannot count the number of times I have heard someone use the words markup and margin interchangeably.Many business owners do not know that there is a difference between the two terms, and unfortunately, the confusion between the two terms can negatively affect the bottom line of your business.The confusion between the meaning of the two terms stems from the fact that the same inputs are used to calculate both markup and margin, and the two of them provide information about the same transaction.However, margin and markup are totally different things.They show different information and are accounted differently.In this article, we are going to explain the difference between margin and mark up and explain why it is important to tell each apart from the other.Before we go into the differences between margin and markup, it is important to first understand three terms which will come in handy when calculating both the margin and the markup. These terms are:Revenue: This refers to the in come earned after products or services are sold. Revenue reflects to all the money earned from the sale before any deductions have been made. Revenue is usually the top line in an income statement.Cost of goods sold (COGS): This refers to all the expenses that the business incurs while making products and delivering services. During the calculation of cost of goods sold, only variable costs are considered. Variable costs are those that are directly incurred in the production of goods and those that may vary depending on the amount of goods being produced. Examples of variable costs that are calculated as part of COGS include the cost of raw materials, manufacturing costs, product packaging, direct labor, freight, and any other costs that can be directly attributed to making and selling the product. Fixed costs are not considered part of the cost of goods sold. Examples of fixed costs include rent, office expenses such as utilities, supplies, internet, telephone, and so on, the salar ies of office staff who are not directly involved in production, professional fees, insurance, advertising, promotional and other sales expenses, payroll taxes and employee benefits, etc.Gross profit: This is the part of the revenue that remains after the expenses of manufacturing your products or delivering your products have been deducted. Gross profit is the difference between revenue and COGS.Keep these three terms in mind since we will use all of them to calculate margin and markup.WHAT IS MARGIN?The margin, also referred to as gross margin, is a figure that shows the amount of revenue earned after the COGS has been deducted.Margin can be expressed in dollar value or as a percentage. Margin is calculated by dividing the gross profit by the revenue.Below is the formula for calculating margin: To make the margin formula easier to understand, let’s use an example to illustrate how it works.Let’s assume a pair of headphones is sold at $400 and costs the company $200 to make.The margin on a pair of headphones would be: Alternatively, you can express the margin as a percentage as by multiplying the figure above by 100. In our example above, the margin for a pair of headphones is 50%.This means that 50% of the total revenue is kept by the company, while the other 50% of revenue covers the cost of producing the headphones.From this, we can say that margin is a measure of how much of every dollar earned in revenue is kept by the company after deducting expenses.In our example, for every dollar made in sales, the company retains $0.50.The higher the margin, the greater the portion of revenue the company keeps after making a sale.The gross margin is a very important metric when evaluating the financial performance of a company because it tells whether the company is making or losing money on sales, which is a very crucial aspect of business, since a business that is not making money on sales is failing.In addition, the gross margin is a useful indicator of how efficient the management of the company is in using supplies and labor in the production process.For a company that has a very low gross margin, there are two major approaches for improving this key metric.The first one is by increasing the price of products or services, while the second is by reducing the cost of production. None of these two approaches is easy.A price increase in a bid to increase the profit margin can result in a reduction in sales.If the sales become too few, the business might be unable to bring in enough revenue to cover operating costs.Therefore, before increasing the price, the business needs to consider factors such as supply and demand for the product, completion from other businesses, inflation rates, and so on.The second option for companies that want to increase their gross margin is to reduce the variable costs associated with producing their product.For this to happen, the company needs to either reduce the cost of acquiring materials or make the production process more efficient.A great way of cutting costs on materials is to take advantage of volume discounts.By buying more material from a s upplier at a go, you are more likely to receive discounts.Alternatively, you might opt to look for a less costly supplier.You should be careful when doing this since low prices on materials might mean lower quality materials.If you decide to reduce your production cost by making your production process more efficient, you should also take care to ensure that the quality of goods is not compromised.WHAT IS MARKUP?Just like margin, markup also analyzes the profit made after making a sale.However, markup looks at gross profit as a function of the cost of goods sold, rather than revenue.In other words, whereas you divide the gross profit by revenue to calculate margin, you have to divide the gross profit by the COGS to determine the markup.You can think of markup as the extra percentage on top of the cost of production that you charge your customers.Markup can be calculated using the following formula: Once again, let’s use the example from above where it takes $200 to produce a pair of headphones, which are then sold at a price of $400. Here is how we would calculate the markup. Alternatively, you can express the markup as a percentage as by multiplying the figure above by 100. The markup in this case is 100%, which means that the headphones were sold for 100% more than what it cost to produce them. In other words, the selling price is double the cost of production.Markup is a measure of how much more you sell a product compared to what it cost you to produce the product.Just like margin, the higher the markup, the greater the portion of revenue the company keeps after making a sale.Markup can also be described as the factor by which you multiply the cost of production to come up with a selling price. This can be expressed as: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MARGIN AND MARKUP As you might have realized by now, margin and markup are like the two sides of a coin.They describe the same thing, but they provide different perspectives.The margin shows the relationship between gross profit and revenue, while markup shows the relationship between profit and the cost of goods sold.Aside from showing different perspectives, there are some other key differences between margin and markup, which include:Having a markup on your products ensures that your business is making a profit with each sale and provides a way of quantifying that profit.Markup is a great tool in the initial stages of a business since it helps you to better understand how cash flows into and out of your business. This can be very usefully in helping you locate efficient points and bottlenecks within your business.Margin, on the other hand, is a precise and reliable tool for calculating profits and provides a clear picture of how sales are impacting your comp any’s bottom line.MARGIN VS. MARKUP CHARTWhile the margin and markup offer different perspectives of the same thing, it is important to understand how each behaves in relation to the other, since confusing the two can impact your profitability.Considering that the reference for calculating markup is cost of goods sold, which is a lesser value, the markup will always be bigger than markup, which is calculated based on revenue.Generally, a profit making business should have a markup percentage that is higher than the margin percentage.If your markup is lower than the margin, this means that your business is making losses.The relationship between markup and margin is not an arbitrary one.Generally, the relationship between margin and markup can be expressed using the following formula. For instance, in our headphones example above, we saw that the margin was 50% while the markup was 100%.Let’s confirm if our formula above will get the same thing. Alternatively, we can use a specific margin to determine what markup is required to achieve the margin. In this case, we use the following formula: Once again, going with our previous example, we know that a 50% margin will give you a 100% markup. Plugin this into our formula confirms this. Using the above two formulas, we can accurately predict how margin and markup interact with each other.A specific markup will always produce a specific margin.To easily determine what markup will produce what margin, a margin vs. markup chart is used.Below is an example of a margin vs. markup chart:Markup      Margin15%13%20%16.7%25%20%30%23%40%28.6%50%33%75%42.9%100%50%PRICING YOUR PRODUCTS BASED ON MARGINSetting the right price for your products is very crucial, and can be the difference between attracting customers by the loads and your business going under.One of the most common ways of pricing products is to adjust the cost of goods sold by the target profit margin.This way, as a business owner, you can always be sure that a specified percentage of each dollar made from sales represents profit over the COGS.For instance, if you adjust your COGS by a target margin of 30% to come up with a selling price, 30 cents of every dollar earned from sales will be a profit.To come up with a selling price based on the margin, you should start by diving your target gross margin by 100 to convert it from a percentage into a decimal.For instance, if you have a target margin of 30%, divide 30 by 100 to get 0.30.Once you have your target margin as decimal, subtract it from 1 to determine what portion of your selling price will represent the cost of goods sold. In this case, the cost of goods sold would be represented by Once you determine the portion the cost of goods sold represents, divide the cost of goods sold by this figure to come up with the selling price.For instance, if manufacturing your product costs $14, then the price in this case would be: In this case, you would sell the product at $20.When coming up with your target margin, it is always advisable to include other costs besides what goes directly into the making of the product, such as overhead.This will ensure that your selling price is enough to cover all the costs of doing business.When setting the price, you should also keep in mind that there are several other factors other than the cost of making the product that will affect the price.For instance, the price that the market can bear will also have an impact on your price.Setting a price based on a specific target margin will not be effective if customers are not willing to pay that price.Therefore, in as much as you want to achieve a specific target margin for every sale, you should also make sure that your price allows your product to maintain a competitive advantage.PRICING YOUR PRODUCTS BASED ON MARKUPSome entrepreneurs may also choose to set up their price based on markup.When using markup as the basis for s elling price, the markup must be big enough to cover all the expenses and reductions that are part of business, such as markdowns, customer discounts, and so on, while at the same time ensuring that the business earns a significant profit.Therefore, if you want to use markup as a basis for pricing your products, you should make sure that you are well informed about all aspects of your business, such as total operating expenses, including costs such as labor, materials, and overhead costs, as well as things such as sales figures.When setting price based on markup, all you need to do is figure out all the costs associated with producing and selling a product and then multiply this by the markup to come up with the price.Below is the formula for calculating a markup-based price: Going by our earlier example, if the cost of manufacturing a pair of headphones is $200, and the company wants a markup of 100% on the headphones, then the price of the headphones would be calculated as follows: There are some factors that you need to keep in mind before deciding the markup you will use on your products or services.The two most important factors to consider are the costs associated with producing the product and the market demand for your product.Aside from these factors, you should also consider the industry in which you are operating.In most cases, you will find that there is standard markup within certain industries, and it might be wise to stick to the standard in order to maintain your products’ competitive edge.One of the greatest advantages of using markup as a basis for your product pricing is that it guarantees that your business generates a proportional amount of revenue for each sale.The revenue will remain proportional even when your cost of goods sold increases or decreases.However, this does not mean that a business owner should blindly stamp a flat markup percentage on all of the business’ products and services.This is not a very effective strategy. Instea d, you should consider using different markups based on the characteristics of your products.For instance, if you are an electronics retailer, you might have different markups for different products, such as TV sets, home theater systems, fridges, cookers, and so on.The markup should also depend on factors such as the products’ turnover.For instance, products that have a very high turnover might have a lower markup compared to those with lower turnover.This is because the high sales might be enough to cover operating expenses, despite the lower markup.To explain how this works, let’s assume that two companies, company X and company Y are in the same industry and sell similar products.It costs both companies $10 to make the product. However, company X places a 50% markup on the product, while company Y places a 30% markup on the product.This will result in a price disparity between company X and company Y, with company Y’s products being more competitively priced. This differen ce in price can result in company Y selling two or three times more than company X and making more profits than company X, despite company X having a higher markup on their products.This is based on the law of demand, which states that the price of a product is inversely proportional to demand.An increase in price leads to reduced demand, while a decrease in price leads to increased demand for the product.MARGIN VS. MARKUP â€" WHICH SHOULD YOU USE?At the start of this article, I mentioned that confusing between margin and markup can be hurtful for your business.So, which of the two should you use? Generally, most small businesses, and especially retailers, depend on markup to set prices for their products.However, when it comes to recording financial information about your business, you accountant, bookkeeper or accounting software will be more interested in the margin rather than the markup.If you use markup in the place of margin, you will end up with bungled accounting numbers, w hich might make you think that your business is making more money than it is actually making.Therefore, while both can be used to determine how to price your products, you should stick to the gross margin when it comes to accounting, because it is a more accurate representation of the profit your business is making.WRAPPING UPUnderstanding the relationship between margin as well as the difference between the two is very important for every business owner.Confusing between the two messes up your accounting and may even result in your business losing money without your knowledge.On the other hand, knowing the difference between the two terms and how they related to each other helps in setting the right goals for your business and implementing short and long term strategies for your business.Understanding margin and markup also helps you to properly price your products.It allows you to competitively price your products while ensuring that you are not leaving any revenue on the table.

Testing Effects of LSD on Adults with Autism - Free Essay Example

Normally the brain is not functioning on a level that includes excess release of serotonin, excess release of dopamine and endorphins, or there are certain vital connections that we don’t have access to on a conscious level, especially not simultaneously. However, when LSD is introduced, connections and reactions in the brain seem to be stimulated on a hyperactive level that can be seen in scans of brain activity. Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, from the Department of Medicine at Imperial described it as an â€Å"explosion of communication† that lights up the entire brain, places that wouldn’t normally be used to contribute to visual perceptions and other information from excitatory impulses. Specialists recommend not consuming high doses of LSD and not taking it often for fear of possible harm, and even permanent damage. High doses are considered to be anything from 750 micrograms and higher, which can increase the potential for bad trips. Some people consider really high doses to have â€Å"mind-shattering† effects. The recommended amounts range from 20 ug to 150 ug. 100ug being the average common dose. LSD in moderation and in a controlled and safe environment at a safe dose will lower the risk of potential brain damage and allow us to monitor and collect data on the specific effects of LSD on the brain. Acid is non-addictive though many side effects such as paranoia, anxiety and delusions are possible leading to reported cases of developed HPPD or Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder where one experiences sensory disruptions during or after stopping LSD. However, development of HPPD is more common in people who practice micro-dosing frequently over a long period of time. Most people take LSD on a yearly basis and tend to consume the average dose, and are less likely to develop HPPD. Autism is a developmental disorder, present from early childhood, that hinders full communication and ability to socially interact and pick up on social cues. However, people diagnosed with autism are more likely to perform well in areas where logic is most obvious. Their brains tend to lack synchrony in areas towards the back, specifically due to tighter connections in the front-lobe circuits and too few outstretched links between the frontal lobe and the rest of the brain. The frontal lobe is responsible for reasoning and planning, which is probably why logic is most favored with those with autism. But the excessive pressure put on those circuits causes for other places in the frontal lobe, specifically the Broca’s area, to be unable to understand/express speech. The areas towards the back, such as the parietal lobe in the upper rear of the brain, are home to the Wernicke’s area, and long-distance links between this area and the frontal lobe cause lack of ability to u nderstand and process complex thought. Ultimately, autism is caused by a mis-wiring of the communicative circuits in the brain where some areas are tighter or looser than others causing developmental issues pertaining to social interaction. In my experiment, I will research the hypothesis of whether or not those areas most significant to contributing to cases of autism will be affected by LSD, and see if activity in those areas will re-wire or manipulate neuro-plasticity in cases of autism leading to slight or significant changes in behaviour or social engagement. In the experiment, LSD will be introduced to a group of 100 people ages 25-30 who had no prior experiences on LSD, participants would have to have been previously diagnosed autistic. Another 50 would also be previously diagnosed autistic and would serve as the control group, and would NOT be given LSD. Another 100 people, would be non-autistic, have no prior experiences with the drug, and also fall in the 25 to 30 year age range. 50 of those participants would be introduced with LSD and the other 50 would not. We would do this to monitor the overall effects of LSD on a brain without autism or any other developmental issues. We would place each participant thro ugh an MRI scan to monitor brain activity prior to the experimental groups (with and without autism) being given the LSD. We would also give them a series of mental-performance tasks, including group discussions and social interactions, puzzles, and monitoring emotional responses to certain social cues or being shown images. We will monitor their performance on each and record and collect data. We would then evenly distribute the most accurate dosage of 100ug to our experimental groups, because the average 100ug dosage trip lasts about 4-6 hours, we’d wait 2 hours and place them through another MRI and again put them through a series of mental performance tasks at the same level of difficulty as the last and monitor the findings. We will repeat the process again after another 2 hours two more times (total of 6 hours). Due to the excess release of the neurotransmitter known as serotonin, sleep is common. Participants must only fall asleep after the six hours. During sleep we will monitor brain activity as well. Participants must only sleep for four hours. We will again place them (after 10 hours) through the MRI and another round of performance tasks, and monitor our findings. What we will be looking for is whether or not LSD effects those areas of the brain that are â€Å"mis-wired† in people with autism and how people with autism respond to being given the drug compared to those who do not have autism and those with autism that did not receive the drug at all. We will monitor emotional response and mental performance after each time stamp and see whether or not it has a significant effect on any of our experimental groups. Based on this we will formulate a conclusion on whether or not LSD can be used in future methods to treat- or serve as treatment for autism.

American Neo Orientalism And The Justification For The ...

Stephanie Pak AP Human Geography Mr. Shaw 22 February 2016 Ex Oriente Lux: American neo-Orientalism and the Justification for the ‘War on Terror’ The September 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon fundamentally changed the dynamic of American identity threatening it’s hegemony and creating a space of insecurity thus necessitating a reassertion of state authority. In particular, the 9/11 post-traumatic space required US participation in an ambiguous ‘War on Terror’ that institutionalized racially charged violence through the demonization of the Islamic ‘Other’. The US-led project to ‘save’ its identity serves to permanently etch within the American subconscious a false representation of modern terrorism in order†¦show more content†¦The 9/11 attacks have become a symbolic event marked by the American military retaliation and changing East-West relationship, the result being the materialization of neo-Orientalist academia wherein the Arab world is the focus and many major prototype components such as India and Turkey are omitted from the neo-Orientali st map. In the aftermath of 9/11, Orientalist depictions of an Islamic ‘Other’ have been highly visible within the Western world in both official rhetoric and the American press effectively legitimizing normative binaries. Notably, the US ‘War on Terror’ discourses promote imaginary geographies by way of two critical axioms centering around the idea of ‘West’ in opposition of ‘East’: the righteous campaign and Islam in direct opposition to Christianity. As a form of critical analysis, Orientalism provides an essential context in that it helps to unravel the ways in which â€Å"Eastern peoples, traditions, and cultures are depicted as irrational, backward, lazy and despotic in direct contrast to the West, which is seen as rational, moral and the pinnacle of civilization.† Prior to the ‘War on Terror’, the US had envisaged an unequivocal role for itself and the 9/11 attacks simply adduced the self-perception of Am erica as â€Å"the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world.† The US conception of the world draws heavily on the binaries of good and evil, viewing 9/11 as justification for any

Critical Analysis Of Simply Jesus By N. T Wright - 1801 Words

Allison May D. Henry Life and Teachings October 16, 2017 Critical Appreciative Analysis: N.T. Wright, Simply Jesus Book content: †¢ The purpose of the book Simply Jesus, by N.T. Wright, is to take a closer look at getting into the gospels. Many of the readers have been told or taught from the perspective of being behind the gospel. N.T. Wright purpose and the majority of the content of his book is for the readers view and past learning experiences to be changed or built on the concept that Gods people need to be inside of the gospel. Learn inside of the gospel not behind it. In the book Simply Jesus, N.T. Wright states that â€Å"We can try to get, not ‘behind’ the gospels, as some sneeringly suggest in the purpose of the historical research,†¦show more content†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¢ The book Simply Jesus concludes with N.T. Wright writing about the rule of God, how far God spreads that rule that he has over the world and how far God’s rule goes to his and into his people, his followers. N.T. Wright continues his conclusion of Simply Jesus by writing about Jesus followers, the followers t hat have displayed and prioritized the use of worship. Wright concludes with worship being the way, the new way, to be human to the everyone and the world as a whole. Critique/Appreciation †¢ In the book Simply Jesus, N.T. Wright makes three different claims throughout. N.T. Wrights first claim is about the â€Å"perfect storm†. The â€Å"perfect storm† takes up a large section of the first few chapters, and in those chapters N.T. Wright writes about that to enter the â€Å"perfect storm† you must step out of your own storm that is happening in your life, you must jump back into the â€Å"perfect storm† just as Jesus did in his own life. N.T. Wright fails to fully support the idea of the â€Å"perfect storm† throughout the book. Wright writes about the two myths that create the â€Å"storms†, the first is â€Å"†¦ the high-pressure system of conservative Christianity† and the second is â€Å"... the new classic modernist myth†¦Ã¢â‚¬ . N.T. Wright loses his credibility to his claims by never giving evidence that disproves they myths. N.T. Wright states that the stories in the bible â€Å"...’real ly did happen’. And there the matter ends†¦. Facts or no facts†. N.T. Wrights claims are never fullyShow MoreRelatedJames s Martyrdom As A Verifiable Origin For Information1892 Words   |  8 PagesJames, the Half Brother of Jesus was Abruptly Transformed There is not as much information about James as there is about Paul, but he is also significant for the evidence offered, and another witness as well. The same reasoning can be utilized in regard to James because his belief is that he actually saw a resurrected Jesus and that he was ready to die for the identical belief as Paul and the other disciples. â€Å"James’s martyrdom is attested by Josephus, Hegesippus, and Clement of Alexandria. We noRead MoreTop 1 Cause for Project Failure65023 Words   |  261 Pagesbeginning in these situations. 8. [pic] Sean Murphy IMT Programme Manager at KC PCT With over 8 years of project experience in the private and public sectors, I would say that the biggest #1 cause of project failure is incorrect business requirements specification (BRS). You may have the stakeholder buy-in, scope defined etc, but if the project has not performed a proper analysis phase right at the beginning of the execution stage with the milestone of a businessRead MoreDeveloping Management Skills404131 Words   |  1617 PagesManagement—-Study and teaching. 2. Management—Problems, exercises, etc. Kim S. II. Title. HD30.4.W46 2011 658.40071 173—dc22 I. Cameron, 2009040522 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 ISBN 10: 0-13-612100-4 ISBN 13: 978-0-13-612100-8 B R I E F TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S Preface xvii Introduction 1 PART I 1 2 3 PERSONAL SKILLS 44 Developing Self-Awareness 45 Managing Personal Stress 105 Solving Problems Analytically and Creatively 167 PART II 4 5 6 7 INTERPERSONAL SKILLS 232 233 BuildingRead MoreProject Managment Case Studies214937 Words   |  860 Pagessituations, but keep in mind that the larger case studies, such as Convin Corporation and The Blue Spider Project, could have been listed under several topics. Several of the cases and situations have seed questions provided to assist the reader in the analysis of the case. An instructor s manual is available from John Wiley Sons, Inc., to faculty members who adopt the book for classroom use. Almost all of the case studies are factual. In most circumstances, the cases and situations have been taken fromRead MoreRastafarian79520 Words   |  319 PagesJamaicans regard as their cultural contribution to the world. Later I will return to these issues and will demonstrate how they contribute to the routinization of Rastafari in Jamaica. The nature of this book dictates a heavy reliance on documentary analysis. My focus is interpretation not ethnography. Therefore, I have not sought to generate primary data on the movement but to analyze and re-analyze the growing body of scholarly and popular literature on the movement, including sociological and anthropologicalRead MoreReed Supermarket Case32354 Words   |  130 Pagesa cult icon 2.3 Video case study: TOMS Shoes Questions for discussion References viii CONTENTS 3 Internationalization theories Learning objectives 3.1 Introduction 3.2 The Uppsala internationalization model 3.3 The transaction cost analysis model 3.4 The network model 3.5 Internationalization of SMEs 3.6 Born globals 3.7 Internationalization of services 3.8 Summary Case studies 3.1 Cryos: they keep the stork busy around the world 3.2 Classic Media: internationalization of Postman PatRead MoreA Picatrix Miscellany52019 Words   |  209 PagesRitter and Martin Plessner, London, The Warburg Institute, University of London, 1962 French B. Bakhouche, F. Fauquier, B. Pà ©rez-Jean: Picatrix Un traità © de magie mà ©dià ©val. 388 p., 130 x 210 mm, 2003, Paperback ISBN 2-503-51068-X, EUR 37.91. Newest critical edition. French S. Matton, La magie arabe traditionelle, Paris, 1977 (incomplete) Latin Picatrix: The Latin Version of the Ghà ¢yat Al-Hakà ®m, ed. David Pingree (London, Warburg Institute, 1986). Spanish Abul-Casim Maslama ben Ahmad: Picatrix (El

Glow in the Dark Duck Tape Triboluminescence

You can use duck tape to see an example of triboluminescence, the glow given off when some materials are subjected to mechanical stress or friction. The duck tape (or duct tape) triboluminescence project is extremely easy and only take a few seconds to try. It doesnt matter whether you call the tape duck tape or duct tape, but your results seem to depend partially on the brand you use: Henkelâ„ ¢ works well. What You Do Tear off two strips of tape. Stick the pieces together with the sticky sides facing each other, leaving enough tape so that you can pull the strips apart. Turn out the lights. Give your eyes a minute or two to adjust to the dark. Pull the strips of tape apart. How It Works Did you see the blue line where the tape separated? This is triboluminescence, which is a type of luminescence triggered by mechanical energy or electrical energy from an action such as friction. You can get the same effect from other types of tape as well. A good one to try is transparent Scotchâ„ ¢ tape. If you have a hard time separating strips of tape with their sticky sides together, you can see the triboluminescent glow simply by pulling the tape (quickly) off of the roll, though the light will not be quite as bright.

Starbucks Management - 923 Words

Starbucks Management Management clearly plays one of the biggest roles in how successful a company can and will\be. Starbucks profoundly shows exquisite and powerful connections with their employees and coffee suppliers. Their management skills shadow Mitz Berg’s liaison roles and Katz’s human and conceptual theories by taking it into their own hands to connect and support each supplier. Not only does Starbucks show these great managerial aspects, they portray the beauty of an open system and use of the modern behaviors in their roles. Starbucks is a great example of a beautifully functioning business, integrated with the interpersonal skills needed to thrive. Management is defined as the process of dealing with or controlling†¦show more content†¦They demonstrate great qualities that every individual would want to work under and for. Midfirst bank, which is where I personally work, does not show these roles and skills as greatly as Starbucks does, but they do demonstrate them on a smaller scale. The company looks out for the best in their company and does apply small incentives towards good work and leadership. The one main theory that Midfirst Bank shows is the classical theory. They look for the best possible way for workers to perform tasks by creating goal plans, and use classical scientific theory to increase productivity by implementing a mandatory referral goal for each teller. Starbucks most definitely shows better theory behavior then Midfirst Bank in the time and quality they invest in their employees and suppliers. Without great management, most business fails or fail to be successful. When assessing how great a managerial team can be for their company, it is important to look at how they demonstrate theories such as Mitz Berg’s liaison roles and Katz’s human and conceptual theories. Starbucks profoundly shows these great structures by providing a great relationship with their employees and suppliers. Starbucks also displays the ability to achieve an open system and use of the modern behaviors in their roles. It is hard to find companies that are this dedicated to their team and Starbucks is definitely one of them. Starbucks is an immaculate example of a beautifullyShow MoreRelatedStarbucks Inventory Management : Starbucks1195 Words   |  5 PagesStarbucks Inventory Management: In the inventories section, they are directed at the lower of cost (primarily moving average cost) or market. Starbucks records inventory reserves for obsolete and slow-moving inventory and for estimated shrinkage between physical inventory counts. According to trends, inventory reserves are based on inventory obsolescence, historical experience and application of the specific identification method. As of September 27, 2015 and September 28, 2014, inventory reservesRead MoreStarbucks Operations Management1076 Words   |  5 PagesOperations Management Company STARBUCKS These days Starbucks owns more than 18,000 stores in 62 countries and is the premier roaster and retailer of exclusive coffee in the world. Back in 1971, when the first Starbucks opened, the company already had two intentions to give to people every single day till now: share specialty coffee with friends and help to make the world a little better. In 1981, Howard Schultz, the chairman, president and chief executive officer of Starbucks, walked intoRead MoreStarbucks Performance Management5640 Words   |  23 Pages|Spiritual performance from an organizational perspective: the Starbucks way | |Joan F. Marques.   Corporate Governance.   Bradford:2008.   Vol. 8,   Iss. 3,   p.  248-257   | Abstract (Summary) The purpose of this paper is to illustrate spiritual performance from the perspective of a globally operating corporation. The paper uses spirituality at work as its subject-matter and takes the form of a literature review. The paper approaches the topic by:Read MoreStarbucks Management and Leadership1842 Words   |  8 PagesStarbucks Management and Leadership Christy Anderson MGT/330 Tonya T. Moore August 22, 2010 Starbucks Management and Leadership Starbucks Coffee Company came from humble beginnings when it started out as a simple cafà © in Seattle, Washington, in 1971. Originally founded by Howard Schultz and located in the historic Pike Place Market, that single store has since multiplied to more than 15,000 stores located in 50 countries. Starbucks Coffee Company has realized a success which is admired by companiesRead MoreStrategic Management Starbucks5859 Words   |  24 PagesFinal case Starbucks Table of Contents Background Information†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..1 Discussion of Strategy†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦2 5 Forces Model†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦.............3 Driving Forces†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦..5 Key Success Factors†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦.6 SWOT Analysis†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦...7 Analysis of Financials†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Read MoreStrategic Management at Starbucks14676 Words   |  59 PagesStrategic Management Project [pic] -2012- TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER 1 3 Introduction 3 CHAPTER 2 4 General Description of the Company 4 2.1. Strategic Group of the Company and the Dynamics of the Industry Structure 5 2.2. Starbucks in Romania - Market Environment 6 CHAPTER 3 8 Organizational Purpose 8 3.1. Mission and Vision 8 3.2. Values and Objectives 9 CHAPTER 4 9 Diagnosing the Strategic CapabilitiesRead MoreStarbucks s Organizational Culture, Leadership, And Management Traits1260 Words   |  6 Pages Assignment 1: Starbucks’ Strategy Kitwana Abercrumbie Dr. David Wells MGT 500 Modern Management April 15, 2017 Starbucks is the world’s leading place to grab a cup of coffee, and the number one company worldwide in the food service industry. Although it is an American company, it is also the premier roaster and retailer of specialty coffee in the world. Thanks in part to strong global sales, Starbucks was recently named by Fortune as one of the World s Most Admired Companies . ThroughRead MoreStarbucks Coffee Operation Management1661 Words   |  7 PagesTransformation Role of Operations Management: 3 Starbucks Coffee Hiratage: 3 Starbucks Coffee Mission: 4 Starbucks Supply Chain Objectives 5 Product quality, service reliability and management of operations at Starbucks 6 Introduction: Every business is managed through multiple business functions each responsible for managing certain aspects of the business. Operations management (OM) is the business function responsibleRead MoreThe Risk Management Plan For Starbucks880 Words   |  4 Pageseffective risk management plan, organizations would not grow and thrive. In this paper, we developed a risk management plan to help us identify, evaluate and treat all potential risks faced by an organization. The risk management process will focus on the frequency and severity of potential losses, with a view to risk control or risk finance. Introduction: Starbucks, founded in 1985, is the world’s largest coffeehouse chain, with more than 19,000 coffee shops in 62 countries. Starbucks product mixRead MoreEssay on Strategic Management Case Study: Starbucks Coffees9412 Words   |  38 PagesEXECUTIVE SUMMARY The aim of this report is to analyse Starbucks Corporation’s business model in Australia. The analytical techniques include external, internal, competitor and SWOT analysis to determine how Starbucks performed in Australian market. The PEST analysis includes trade practices act which deals with wholesaler, supplier and ensures that trading in the marketplace is fair both for your business and your customers. The Australia Competition and Consumer Commission also illustrates

Reflection on Judaism Free Essays

Judaism is considered by religious Jews to be the expire soon of the covenant relationship that God established with the Children of Israel. Judaism includes a wide corpus of texts, practices, theological positions, and forms of organization. Within Judaism there are a variety of movements, most of which emerge d from Rabbinic Judaism, which holds that God revealed his laws and commandments to Mo season Mount Sinai In the form of both the Written and Oral Torah. We will write a custom essay sample on Reflection on Judaism or any similar topic only for you Order Now 6] Historically, this assertion was challenged by various groups such as the Caduceus and Hellenic Judaism during t he Second Temple period; the Karate and Sebastian during the early and later media al period; [7] and among segments of the modern reform movements. Liberal movements in modern times such as Humanistic Judaism may be monotheistic. 8] Today, the largest Jewish religious movements are Orthodox Judaism (Harder Judaism and Modern Orthodox Juju Dadaism), Conservative Judaism and Reform Judaism. Major sources of difference between these e groups are their approaches dishtowels law, the authority of the Rabbinic tradition, and the SSL influence of the State of Israel. [9] Orthodox Judaism maintains that the Torah and Jewish law are divine in origin, eternal and unalterable, and that they should be strictly followed. Conservative e and Reform Judaism are more liberal, with Conservative Judaism generally promoting a m ore â€Å"traditional† interpretation of Judaism requirements than Reform Judaism. A typical Reform position Is that Jewish law should be viewed as a set of general guidelines rather that n as a setoffs restrictions and obligations whose observance Is required of all Jews. [10][11] Historically, special courts enforced Jewish law; today, these courts still exist but the practice of Judaism I s mostly voluntary. How to cite Reflection on Judaism, Papers

Nice Ways to Say Bad Things in English Essay Example For Students

Nice Ways to Say Bad Things in English Essay Very Nice Ways to Say VERY BAD THINGS An unusual book of euphemisms Linda Berdoll Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things g w g w Very Nice by Very ways to say Things An Unusual Book of Euphemisms Linda Berdoll Copyright  © 2003, 2007 by Linda Berdoll Cover  © 2007 by Sourcebooks, Inc. Internal design  © 2003 Carol Sue Hagood Internal graphics  © 2003 Carol Sue Hagood and Johnny Alvarez Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc. Published by Sourcebooks Hysteria, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc. P. O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410 (630) 961-3900 Fax: (630) 961-2168 www. sourcebooks. com Originally published in 2003. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Berdoll, Linda Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things / Linda Berdoll p. cm. ISBN-13: 978-1-4022-0885-0 ISBN-13: 978-1-4022-2983-1 ISBN-10: 1-4022-0885-5 ISBN-10: 1-4022-2983-6 1. English language—Euphemism. 2. English language—Jargon. 3. English language—Terms and phrases. I. Title. PE1449. B4435 2007 427 —dc22 2006100787 Printed and bound in the United States of America. WC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Contents A spersions, brickbats, carping, cavil, censure, denunciation, disparagement, reproach, opprobrium, reproof, stricture, vitriol, epithets, and vituperation 1 v Censuring the Inherent Fool: The Lost Art 3 Shakespeare, Addressing Individual Mounds of Foul, Undigested Lumps of Donkey Entrails 19 Sacre Bleu: Profanities and Expletives 21 Oaths and General Vituperation 27 Silent Disparagement (The Bird and His Friends) 30 Circumlocution 33 Worshipping at the Shrine of Bacchus 49 its, disease, ill health, in? rmity, breakdowns, af? iction, ailment, attacks, bugs, collapse, complaint, con? nement, convalescence, disability, disorder, disturbance, dose, failing health, ? u, indisposition, malady, malaise, prostration, seizure, syndrome, a bit of unwell, and what’s been going around 53 F Indisposition 55 Going to Europe with Ralph and Earl in a Buick 56 In the Privy 65 Af? cted by Time’s Wing’d Chariot 69 v G ender speci? c activity, femininity, manhood, manliness, masculinity, sexuality, womanhood, womanliness, intercourse between animate beings, coition, coitus, copulation, fornication, generation, intimacy, lovemaking, magnetism, procreation, relations, reproduction, sensuality, sexuality 73 v Bewitched, Bothered and Betwattled 75 The Long Carbine 80 Dallyi ng, Firkytoodling and Finkdiddling 83 Sex â€Å"Sain et Sauf † 102 Men Behaving Badly 107 A Pea in the Pod 109 Misbegotten 110 Unknown to Man 112 Traf? cking with Oneself 114 D ft, mentally strange, barmy, unzipped, batty, berserk, insane, bonkers, cracked, loony, crazed, cuckoo, demented, deranged, peculiar, erratic, ? aky, fruity, idiotic, insane, lunatic, mad, maniacal, nuts, potty, psycho, touched, unbalanced, unglued, unhinged, wacky 135 The Gazelles are in the Garden 137 ’N What? 142 Acknowledgements 144 v spersions, brickbats, carping, cavil, censure, denunciation, disparagement, reproach, opprobrium, reproof, stricture, vitriol, epithets, and vituperation You clod of puke-stocking, roastmeat for worms! Zounds, I have been bethumped by words. Shakespeare Censuring the Inherent Fool: The Lost Art ew would argue that some behavior is so abhorrent, it demands redressing. Regardless of justi? cation—idiot drivers, impudent clerks, adolescents who have been sp awn by the devil—we as a society simply cannot condone smacking the offender upside the head. (Admittedly, we institute this decision partly in deference to decorum, but also in the distinct possibility that said transgressor might be packing heat. ) Since throwing the bric-a-brac can become prohibitively expensive, our only alternative is to let ? y with a few choice words. That acknowledged, it is miserably apparent that standards about what is said or heard in public have become remarkably lax. What comes out of the mouths of babes nowadays would have once made a ? shwife blush. Not that we deplore vehement noti? cation of character ? aws, but F 3 chucking stock profanities about does not exhibit the exercise of intellect to which we aspire. To wit: You stupid, fat fuck Famous mob boss or: You show yourself highly fed and lowly taught. Shakespeare Granted, no one can hold a verbal candle to Will Shakespeare, but with a few carefully tailored ripostes, one might just leave the miscreants of society ? mmoxed, if not actually chastened. 4 Asp ersio b Hos and Hounds Once, was one to imply a man less than a gentleman, one would have to meet him at dawn accompanied by one’s seconds. The current vogue of anti-heroes appears to have reversed such a notion. Calling a man a rogue, scoundrel, heel or even humping dog will not necessarily be an insult. The refore, with honor now discounted, the male character ? aws vulnerable for attack are intellect, cuckoldry, wimpiness and penis size. ns, brickbats, c arpin av g, c sure, il, cen Call Him a Rat; Just Don’t Call Him a Mouse. de He’s a most notable coward, an in? nite and ndless liar, an hourly prose-breaker, the owner of no one-good quality. Shakespeare 5 He is not only dull in himself, but is the cause of dullness in others. Samuel Foote Asp er sions, brickbats, ca rpin Homo-Boobus To properly vilify the cabbage-headed oaf, we must, unfortunately, blaspheme the animal kingdom*—polecat, skunk, swine, baboon, (particularly effective with a British in? ection) varmint, goose, or donkey. However, if one calls him a capon (a de-knackered chicken), one has hit a triple—not only is he a graceless lout, but also a eunuch— and unless he was in 4H, unlikely to comprehend the slam. nsure vil, ce g, ca de : He has no such brain as ear-wax. Shakespeare Dullard, dim bulb, dolt, lobberhead, or ? ap-doodle are inherent fools. A lurdane or sluggard is not only a fool, but a lazy fool. The particularly cantankerous ignoramus is a devil child, demon rogue, arch? end, churl, Mephistopheles, or carcass ? t for dogs. If one wanted to cover all the *(In that today few people understand that an ass is actually a four-legged animal, not the gluteal area surrounding one’s anus, we omitted it. ) 7 You met your wife’s wit bases, there is Lusus naturae, which is Latin for freak of nature. To clarify the subtle difference between a jerk and a dunce, one must remember not to credit insult that can be more appropriately explained by stupidity. c 8 The Two-timed c Not so very long ago if a man found his wife in bed with another man and took a shotgun to them both, it was ruled justi? able homicide. Hence, it might be wise to make certain there is a clear avenue for escape before one goes rattling this particular cage. If one does have the moxie to do it, there is only one way to go. To quote Pulp Fiction, bri ckbat s, carping, cavi l, cen s ure, one has to â€Å"get medieval on his ass. To do so effectively, one must become intimately familiar with terms as old as the middle ages. We begin with the word cuckold, which many believe originates with the French word for cuckoo bird. This conclusion is apparently due to that dirty bird’s penchant for depositing, then abandoning, its monstrous egg into some unsuspecting little wren’s nest for it to hatch, then at tempt to feed. History has writ cuckoldry a shooting offense, giving us to understand quite clearly that men do not want another’s cuckoo baby in their nest. In that the cuckoo egglayer and proprietress of said nest are both female should ciatio denun ,d goin g to your neighbor’s bed. Shakespeare 9 throw a monkey wrench in this entire affronted manhood stuff, but as far as we can determine, it has not. A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself. Du Bois The derivations of most of our terms for cheating appear to be some convolution of the de? nition for horn—hard protuberance, e. g. penis, and cornu—horn-shaped anatomical characteristic. Indeed, there was a mythical beast called a bicorn, which, legend says, used to eat husbands who had unfaithful wives (as to why these victims of in? elity were the ones preyed upon, our crack team of researchers have been unable to ascertain). Then there is the Greek legend of Artemis who caugh t Actaeon peeking while she was bathing and turned him into a stag, thereupon causing his own hounds to eat him—which maybe served him right. 10 bri ckbat s, carping, cavi l, cen s ure, Hence, the poor cuckold is doomed to suffer, not only his wife’s in? delity, but being taunted as a cornuto or buck’s face (has horns, you know), suffering the forked plague, prey to the bicorn, or, get this, wearing Vulcan’s badge: n ciatio denun d The roof of Vulcan, her, by many a gift Seduced, Mars won, and with adult’rous lust The bed dishonour’d of the King of ? re. Cowper—The Odyssey of Homer One must concede that in issuing the jibe, Vulcan’s badge, it could be misconstrued. A certain element of the population may not understand that in this context, Vulcan pertains to the God of Fire and has nothing whatsoever to do with Star Trek. A wittol is aware he is being cheated on and puts up with it (what was Camilla Parker Bowles’ husba nd’s name anyway? ). If he is aware and enraged, he is horn-mad. If he is cheating on her, she is a cuckquean and usually The Last to Know. If the correspondent in this affair is a man, he is, indeed, Actaeon. His female counterpart is an inconstant, faithless sore in the side of a man and, no doubt, a wanton hussy. The entire activity is, quite aptly, named cornucopia —horn of plenty (we suppose, because there is plenty of horniness going on). ATTENTION: It is imperative that when one in? icts any of the above abuse, it must be done with extreme superciliousness, else its just not gonna work. 11 What a candy-ass! The Invertebrate arp ing, cav il, censure, de nun In cock? hting, a white tail feather among the plumage of a gamecock denotes inferior breeding and therefore a less combative rooster. When calling a person’s courage into question, the accusation of showing a white feather may now seem a bit obscure, but for centuries, it was tantamount to saying â€Å"what a candy-ass. † In common parlance a cur is a mongrel dog, bu t its second de? nition dating also from the thirteenth century, is coward. From the Middle Ages comes recreant, which as an adjective describes a begging of mercy (we understand not an uncommon occurrence during those times) and by token, one who does so, a coward. In the ? rst half of the 18th century, funk meant â€Å"a state of paralyzing fear,† hence one who funks is, too, a coward. As to how and why this term was usurped by the music industry in the ‘70s remains a mystery, but it will arbitrarily remove the word funky from possible cowardly insults. *If faced with being drawn and quartered we are not certain who among us would not go down screaming like a woman bringing forth child. c He led his regiment from behind, He found it less exciting. W. S. Gilbert ciat 13 rage dispa ion, me Cowardice is distinguished from panic by the inability to suspend the imagination. Therefore, the terms that imply the lack of stalwartness of someone’s innards are: lilylivered, yellow-bellied, spineless, faint, or chicken-hearted, pantywaist, or a gutless wonder. One might avoid wimp and big baby—they lack imagination. Woody Allen says he is not a hypochondriac, but an alarmist. That makes our list, as does milquetoast, caitiff, craven, dastard, or poltroon. Save sissy-britches or wienie for when one has to pull out the big artillery. VFYI: We note a rectal sub-category as it relates to the frightened. First, there is the pucker factor, which refers to the degree of fear that causes one’s sphincter to tighten. Contrarily is the green heron or shitepoke which, when startled into ? ight, defecates. It goes without saying that whatever category one may ? nd oneself in when, say, one’s aircraft plummets or the IRS makes inquiries, should remain between oneself and one’s laundress. He Who Is Not Nick-Named Tripod There was an old man named Ringer, Who was seducing a beautiful singer. He said with a grin, â€Å"Now, I’ve got it in. † Said she, â€Å"You mean that’s not your ? nger? † 14 rp ing, cav il, censure, de nunc Of the euphemisms we uncovered for a man less favored by nature (hung like a chicken, pencil-dick and bugfucker), we can only recommend under-endowed and three-inch fool, so this entry will be blessedly small (no pun intended). The Five-Letter Woman : She was a woman of mean understanding, Little information and uncertain te mper. Jane Austen Historically the most effective means to rebuke any woman was to disparage her virtue (that or possibly her fashion sense). Nowadays, un-virtuous and unladylike are probably as useless as insults go as un-gentlemanly. Yet however ubiquitous its use, we can agree that calling a disreputable female a bitch (or even puppy’s mama) is not only common, but an insult to female dogs. Harpy, harridan, slattern, or shrew may be vintage, but they are just pithy enough for general reproach of shrill, hateful behavior. When faced with an irredeemably cantankerous woman, she may well be the Devil’s Sister. (If she appears to ? nd this in any way complimentary, a keen sense of self preservation might suggest one run like a cheap pair of pantyhose. ) c p on, dis iati e arag me F r oul Sluts Even if the succubus that one’s brother intends to marry is a fornicatress that has seen more pricks than a dartboard, we encourage one not to refer to her as a slut, tramp, hussy, trollop, roundheeled ? oozy, or dirtylegged Jezebel. One might get away with â€Å"she’s been around the block more times than the Good Humor man† to others, but unless he actually asks your opinion, one might do well to refrain from comment at all. Other analogies for that woman who has been laid on every ? at rock in three counties include the town pump or any noun that can I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. 6 be ridden: bicycle, hobby horse, barber’s chair, ferry, hackney, taxi, etc. A badger is a loose woman who is particularly ill-scented. Disclaimer: This information is offered only for elucidative purposes. VFYI: If one believes that a woman is of accommodating morals and decides to say so publicly, one has bewhored her (or, depending on one’s ‘hood, possibly beho-ed her). Be certain that she doesn’t mind the advertisement or have your affairs in order, for it is said: â€Å"Hell hath no fury like pussy with a pistol. † 17 Y’wanna piece of me, sweetie? Dog City If while mentally cruising some parallel universe, one believes it a good idea to slander a masculine woman, at least have the good sense to avoid calling her a diesel-dyke or hell pig. Virago, beldame, trolleymog, daggletail, or buffarilla mean precisely the same thing and their relative obscurity may offer one just enough time to elude being beaten to a pulp. OTE: We have been told that if one is in a Spanish-speaking country, it is also advisable not to compliment a strong woman by calling her macha. VN w At a loss for words, hockey puck? Quote Shakespeare. BULLETIN: The unparalleled king of insults s not Don Rickles. As has certainly not passed one’s notice, Shakespeare marshals up gems of abuse that would whoosh right over the average boor’s head. Therefore, appropriating The Bard’s 18 words to one’s own needs will serve a dual purpose. It confounds the ignorant and catches the erudite off guard. Hence: avi l, c ensu re, denunciatio n, d Shakespeare, Addressing Individual Mounds of Foul, Undigested Lumps of Donkey Entrails: for those of the female persuasion Hag of hell, fat chuff, latten bilbo (brass shackles), painted maypole, long-tongued babbling gossip, and Amazonian trull. For men who have fallen out of one’s favor False hound, untutored churl, rank weed, insolent cracker, unlettered small-knowing soul, odoriferous stench, pigeon-egg of discretion, dilatory sloth, homely swain, clod of wayward marl, dunghill groom, puke-stocking, improvident ? ea, ronyon (mangy or scabby creature), roastmeat for worms, princox (fop), cacoethes (one with insatiable desire, usually disreputable), mad mustachio’d purple-hued maltworm, prick-eared cur of—(? ll in the name of town, school, or neighborhood the cur claims as home), and whoreson. for one’s boss Old feeble carrion, scolding crookbank, embossed carbuncle, white-livered-red-faced prince of ? ends, cacodemon (evil spirit), maggot pie, execrable wretch, beef-witted, or sodden-witted implorer of unholy suits. to verbally backhand group obnoxiousness You rabble of vile confederates, herd of boils and plagues, petty spirits of region low, strangely visited people, foul and pestilent congregation of vapors, college of witcrackers, dissolute crew, or base lackey peasants. 19 c ep ent, r ragem ispa ro Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain Sacre Bleu: Profanities and Expletives w The â€Å"F† ing Word Other Intensives Veritable, sure enough, or bona-? de are perfectly respectable intensi? ers when one needs, well, emphasis. Unfortunately, fucking seems to be the hands-down pejorative of choice in modern society. This being the case, we believe a little historical perspective couldn’t hurt . . . No matter how many people believe it true, it is highly unlikely that the word â€Å"fuck† is an acronym of For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge or that other old chestnut, Fornicate Under Consent of the King. Eric Partridge believed it evolved from the German word ? ken for â€Å"to strike. † Like most, he found the word objectionable. He, however, categorized it along with words that he considered sadistic representations of the male’s part in copulation: clap, strike, thump, nail, and, yes, bang. Webster’s offers the derivations, 21 fokken (Dutch, to breed) or fokka (Swedish, to copulate). Others suggest the French word foutre, to thrust, and even ? rk (English 1600’s), to beat or to lash. However it originated, it has been in use and considered a vulgarity the better part of a millennium. As an intensive, Webster’s calls it meaningless. There are those who would disagree. To avoid inciting an affronted swoon by the more sensitive souls of society, acronyms have been embraced in place of a number of phrases that include the â€Å"f† word. Speci? cally, we have GFY, which instructs one to do something anatomically impossible (Go Fuck Yourself ); GFU, a moron (General Fuck-Up); and NFW, an implausibility (No Fucking Way). Related acronyms include SNAFU, a cynical expectation of any situation in which the military is involved (Situation Normal, All Fucked-Up); FUBAR, unrecognizably mussed (Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition); and there is the sarcastic BFD (Big Fucking Deal). Additionally, when one has been indisputably wronged, one has been RF—Royally Fucked (also known as the king’s elevator—the royal shaft). Just for the record, a ? ying fuck is what one does not give, not airborne copulation. And abso-fucking-lutely means beyond a shadow of a doubt. 22 avi l, cens ure, denunci c w Merde ation, di p nt, re ageme spar The four-letter word for defecation has been in use for eons—which allows that antiquity does not necessarily dictate grand lexicon. It is possible to avoid the vulgarity of the word shit completely, as feces, manure, and dung all mean the same thing. Small point of interest: feces refer to human waste, manure and dung, animal. ) Other selections tend to be polysyllabic but are colorful—meadow dressing, bovine excrement, horse apples, corral confetti, etc. Granted, if one is discussing political matters, it may be impossible to avoid using (or even shouting) bullshit. However, if one does not want to comp romise decorum completely, that can be shortened to B. S. Or, call it hogwash, heifer dust, or lip-gloss. Bull-chips might do in a pinch but, in all probability, not what pops out of one’s mouth when faced with ultimate doom (at which time one will most likely be up Shit Creek). Indeed, sources report that when the black boxes are recovered from airplane crash sites, invariably the last words on the tape are â€Å"Uh-oh,† â€Å"Fuck! † and â€Å"Oh, shit. † Of course, one can use the French, merde or speak of â€Å"a short French expletive† which would in fact allow one to perform a rather impressive circumlocutory hat trick, a euphemism for a euphemism for euphemism. When one ? nds it necessary to point out the limitations of another’s character via the 23 ro alimentary canal, it is our position that it is preferable to enlist mock Latin such as excrementum cerebellum vincit rather than call someone a shit-head. Other expressions that would bene? t such translation are: shit list (a mental note of personae non gratae); the shitty end of the stick (the bad end of a bargain—often known as the shaft); to shit or get off the pot (or ? sh or cut bait). To shit in high cotton is to have attained a higher standard of living. But not knowing shit from Shinola—well, that means . . . owing to stupidity one cannot tell feces from shoe polish. Someone whose continued presence is an 24 avi l, cens ure, denunci annoyance sticks like shit to a shovel. Alternatively, shit on wheels re? ects an over-in? ated opinion of oneself. (We, however, could in no way determine how one could deign this to be a self-compliment). Shit a brick technically means discharging a copious and compacted bowel movement, but colloquially it refers to accomplishing the impossible. Lastly, to be so angry as to perform said impossibility is engaging in a shit-? t (also known as pitching a bitch). Certainly there are Latin instructors standing by to assist us. c ation, di p nt, re ageme spar ro w Vexed Ancient Lineage, The Yamato Dynasty EssayAdditionally, if on one’s vacation one has an attack of the turistas, assigning speci? c ethnic blame Going to Europe with Ralph and Earl in a Buick If one is sick to one’s stomach, we believe that is all the information one needs to share. Throwing up or vomiting are also perfectly good descriptive terms. It has been our experience, once that announcement has been made, everyone pretty much gets out of your way on the way to the lavatory. We reduce ourselves to the indelicacy of delineating regurgitation euphemisms for no other reason than it is an absolute playground for onomatopoetic words such as gurk, urp, and barf. With one’s head stuck down the big white phone, one can talk to Earl, Ralph, or Cousin Sis, call Hughie or cry Ruth. Invariably, the most colorful are offered up by friends of the vomitee recounting the entire event to avid listeners: ? ash the hash, ? ay the fox, feed the ? sh, drive the Buick, bow to the porcelain altar, hug the throne, toss tacos, woof cookies, laugh at the carpet, launch one’s lunch, de-food, bestow a Technicolor yawn, heave Jonah, blow beets, park a custard, or go see the Duchess of York. Evidently, there is bovine sub-category provision for the escalation of vomiting: to bison (be nauseated), yak (very nauseated), or water buffalo (throw up one’s toenails). Fit s, d i sease, ill health, in? rmity ,b on ? icti ns, af kdow rea such as Montezuma’s revenge, Dehli-belly, Mexican twostep, Spanish squirts, Botswana bop, or Cairo crud does nothing to improve international goodwill. Let’s face it, unless one is sitting on the edge of an examining table wearing nothing but a gaping hospital gown, â€Å"I am unwell,† is pretty much all anyone needs to tell. ,a w Pussyfooting around The Curse When OTR (on the rag) or having that time of the month, few occurrences engender more verbal pussyfooting (again, no pun intended) than women’s troubles. Victorian ladies suffered from domestic af? iction. So general a term, however, could mean either the sink is stopped up or one’s husband is a cur. Today we seldom hear of the ? owers, ? oods, vapors, wretched calendar, or high tide. While weathering feminine complaint, then as now, not only can one entertain the general or ? y the red ? ag, one can have the painters in, a wet weekend, endure wall? wer week, or a visit from Aunt ? o. When the British have landed (wearing red coats), the Captain is at home and it is BENO time (there’ll be no fun). Inevitably, the onset of one’s menstrual period requires covering the waterfront by the wearing of a sanitary 57 product. It is preferable to specify perineal pad or tampon by brand name (Kotex, Tampax, etc. ), else one is left with a hopeless number of riding analogies: the cotton bicycle, red stallion, white sling, white horse, or fanny mattress. From a male point of view, this item is identi? d as peter-cheater or manhole cover which, while applicable, are in poor taste. Pleasure garden padlock sounds oh-so-re? ned, but we haven’t conjured an occasion when this, as a topic of general conversation, was. w Crawling Creatures When once only an accusation one screamed at the opposite sex at recess, cooties have become a renewed nuisance, not only to school children, but to the population in general. (There are those who blame this phenomenon entirely on the hippie generation. ) One would think such progress would have birthed a parallel vocabulary. That seems not the case. Euphemisms for pediculosis, while dated, are interesting: light troops, active citizens, bosom chums, familiars, walking dandruff, intimate friends, and seam squirrels. 58 VNOTE: Lobby lice are found in hotels, but of the two-legged variety, not eight. 59 Genital or crab lice are crotch pheasants and pants rabbits. Lice are chats, hence, technically, a chatty person is not loquacious, but slovenly. That nightly admonition to not let them bite not withstanding, few of us ever encounter bedbugs anymore. To the Victorians, they were a fact of life, yet a troubling conundrum. The more fastidious citizens of society refused to utter the word â€Å"bug† because of its unfortunate connotation (see The Love That Durst Not Speak Its Name). Hence, the pesky critters were known as gentlemen in brown, B-? ats, or Norfolk Howard (which may or may not reference either the War of the Roses or Flodden Field—far too obscure for a non-Anglophile to ascertain). w Social Diseases Disgraceful disorders refer speci? cally to gonorrhea (the clap) and syphilis (the pox). Other substitutes are: bad blood, nasty complaint, bone ache, foul disease, delicate taint, pintle fever, ? e down below, forget-me-not, Venus’ curse, and in? nite malady. Historically, however, such misfortune appears to have incited unlimited opportunity to disparage various ethnicities: French measles, Neapolitan favor, Spanish gout, Irish mutton, and Rangoon itch. 60 ail men t , attack s, bugs, coll apse, c om w Foul Emanations There once were two men in black suits who had trouble c ontrolling their poots At lunch one ? nally said As the other nodded his head We should switch now from beans to fruits on? int, c pla nt, neme con Breaking Wind Should one befoul the air with an unduly emphatic noise, one has committed a rouser. If one got by, it was a blind-fart also known the acronym SBD— silent but deadly. Anything in between is a back? re, backdoor trumpet, bad powder, buck-snort, or bathtub bubble. In addition, a whistle britches can suffer butter’s revenge or pocket thunder. 61 This is the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril. Shakespeare Under these audible circumstances (if the dog is unavailable to blame), someone might have stepped on a frog, talked German (supposed guttural reference), cut a rusty, sliced the cheese, or shot rabbits. If any of these aforementioned indiscretions occur and the offender does not know to look suspiciously at others, then that person does not deserve to inhabit polite society. As already observed, when one is beset by gastrointestinal disorder, there is little discretionary reaction time. We shall assume any sullying of the air, too, is inadvertent, giving all transgressors (you know who you are) blanket clemency. 62 on vale s cen There once was a wonderful wizard who had a great pain in his gizzard So he ate wind and snow at 50 below and farted a forty day blizzard. VFYI: Breaking wind was actually a great party trick n the Renaissance. Even Dante wrote of a fartiste who made a trumpet of his ass. At the turn of last century, a French nightclub performer, Joseph Pujol, reportedly plied his artistry in the Moulin Rouge. Although known to play O Solo Mio on the ocarina, his tour de force was an anal rendition of Claire de Lune. c ce, disability, disorde r, d ce, rban istu dose, fail in g Dog Breath If one’s breath is strong enough to carry coal, could fell a horse at twenty paces, or smells like the Chinese army has walked through one’s mouth in their sweat socks, one has halitosis. d ke cre ature sne a me . So i ne o his mouth a atr int nd used it as a l all sm woodland 63 In the Privy w Calls of Nature In Elizabethan time, the place of ease was known as a jakes, this was eventually corrupted to ajax. Derivation of another more oft used term for the facilities, the loo remains under disagreement. Some like l’eau (French for water), others insist it lieu (as in â€Å"place†). Nonetheless, euphemisms for the room that contains a toilet can fall into two categories. In the ? rst, based on the concept of contrary connotation, we have bank, chapel, coffee shop, commons, counting house, cottage, library, of? e, parliament, Spice Island, or the temple. The less verbally discriminating, however, relieve themselves in a bog, cacatorium, can, compost hole, dilberry creek, dunny, forakers, john, necessarian, place where one coughs, siege-house, or stool of ease. In most places in Europe, one seeks the W. C. (water closet), which seems in? nitely more reasonable than in Americaâ€℠¢s restroom (where one may sit but does not necessarily rest). VFYI: Yes, the story is apparently true, there actually was a Thomas Crapper who invented a ? ush toilet. 65 w Wring Out One’s Socks Our study has revealed a vast disparity between the number of euphemisms for male urination (lots) compared to those for female (zilch). This may well fall to the unquestionably ? ner sensibilities prevalent amongst the lady-folk. Either that or if one sits to release one’s bladder, it is a solitary, quiet event. There is very little associated activity once one has made certain the toilet seat is down. But he who has a penis with which to pee can even write his name in the snow—well, for argument’s sake, we suppose a woman could do it, but it would take a while. Men can also take the snake for a gallop, siphon the python, shake hands with the bishop, point Percy at the porcelain, or train Terrance on the terracotta after which they can shake the dew off the lily. Either sex could give the Chinaman a music lesson, but in that few use china pots in which to tinkle anymore, it is generally obsolete. As an exit excuse to relieve themselves, men go water the horses, feed the gold? sh, see how high the moon is, kill a snake, chase a rabbit, drain the radiator, or check the ski rack. Women seem to just go to the â€Å"Ladies† to powder their noses (albeit a bit nonsensically, in pairs). 66 ?u , ind sposition, malady, ma laise , st pro ration OTE: There was a hunt-themed restaurant that initiated some baf? ed head-scratching among their patrons by labeling their respective restrooms, Pointers and Setters. VN ure, , seiz 67 syn Af? icted by Time’s Wing’d Chariot Be kind to your children, they will choose your nursing home. or tho se of us middle-aged (assuming everyone lives to be 110), a person of maturity has the dwindles, is a bit forward at the knees, long in the tooth, white-topped, blue-haired, rusting out, old as the hills, in one’s dotage, and no spring chicken, whiling away their time in God’s waiting room. F CAUTION: Make very certain the senior citizen of whom one speaks is deaf as a post before one utters any of these little nuggets. Else, the person upon whom one remarks is always distinguished. He is alive, but only in the sense that he can’t be legally buried. Geoffrey Madan (subject of the observation unknown) w The Bucket Kick’d Are there any grander occasions to pull out all the stops, euphemistically speaking, than speculating on just where the dearly departed’s place of eternal rest will be? The late-lamented could land in Abraham’s bosom, be church triumphant, called to a higher service, or, less optimistically, stoking Lucifer’s ? es. Non-ecumenically, a quietus or an exitus could have occurred. Better judgment would insist (at least insofar as the eulogy) one avoid calling the deceased either worm food or buzzard meat. There appears to be a paradoxical inclination by the bereaved to insist said worm food to action when they have had a morta lity experience (a term popular with the mortuary profession). Hence, we hear the dearly departed may suck grass, grin at daisy roots, buy the farm, give up the ghost, pay nature’s debt, pull a cluck, cash in one’s chips, fold one’s hand, coil one’s rope, drop off the hook, Pardon My Dust Dorothy Parker’s epitaph by Dorothy Parker 70 Suicide is our way of telling God, you can’t ? re me—I quit. slip the cable, sun one’s moccasins, take the long count, jump the last hurdle, drop the cue, ride off on the last round-up, or answer the ever-lasting knock. The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain, after reading his own obituary, June 2, 1897 71 One of the funniest of Monty Python’s routines involved the return of a dead parrot, â€Å"Maybe he’s just shagged out after a long squawk—no, he’s bleeding demised, ceased to be, bereft of life, joined the choir invisible . . † One can go wearing the Q (the death face rather coarsely delineated by comics—tongue lolling out the corner of the mouth), feet ? rst, toes up, eyes closed, heels foremost, face turned to the wall, on one’s shield, in a box, or in repose . . . whence one goes to the bone orchard. 72 G ender speci? c activi ty, femininity, manhood, manliness, masculinity, sexuality, womanhood, womanliness, intercourse between animate beings, coition, coitus, copulation, fornic ati intimacy, lovemaking, m on , en erat i on , m, p e agn g Bed is the poor man’s opera. Italian Proverb is reatio n, rel at roc ion p s, re xu ality, se roduction, sensu it y al A hard man is good to ? nd. Mae West 74 Bewitched, Bothered and Betwattled R Overborne by Desire Few, if any, still believe that only the male gender suffers from the pangs of lust. If proof be needed, the phenomena of Valentino, Elvis and Chippendale’s dancers provide full support for the theory that sexual appetence is an equal opportunity employer. Yet, regardless how prevalent its use, we again point out that the word horny, via horn, comes from a root word pertaining to the erect penis. Therefore, for absolute accuracy, a woman may be just as lustful, dissolute, concupiscent, lascivious, libidinous, salacious, appetent, licentious, ribald, prurient, wanton, or humpy as a man, but, unless born a hermaphrodite, or completed gender reassignment, she will not be horny. Those terms describing the throes of excess cupidity can be gender speci? c and—however we wish they not—the examples that come to mind for men are pussy simple, cunt-struck and betwattled. Although a woman may have 75 A stiff prick has no conscience. Ancient Proverb ot pants or be cocksmitten, we prefer to say either is confounded by love (more likely confounded by lust, but it is not our place to proselytize). The unmistakable (and most conspicuous) concomitant of desire, however, is borne by the male: Penis in erectus. F Temporary Priapism Although it might initially sound like a Viagra high, a priapism (named after Priapus, a Greek and Roman god of male generative power) is a medical con dition that manifests itself by an unrelenting erection which is quite painful 76 en der s and—here’s the catch—is unrelieved by sexual grati? cation. We will remark only upon the temporary kind. Unlikely as it is to be referenced in one of Martha Stewart’s ? ne books, for procreative (or recreational) purposes everyone will agree that an erection is A Good Thing. However, if the little devil rears its head when copulation is merely on the mind but not imminent, it might prompt some explaining—something we did not ? nd indexed by Miss Manners either. If a rise in one’s Levi’s is espied by someone peripheral to the action, we advise the male in question to adopt an air of innocence and complain of an involuntary biological reaction. Genital tumescence, virile re? ex, and male arousal are equally non-accusatory terms. All are preferable to hat rack, blue-veiner, clothes prop, tent peg, live rabbit, proud meat, horn colic, bit of a stiff, or sporting some wood—even if one is ready to dig post holes with it. VNOTE: Many men consider an inadvertent hard-on (an expression we do not endorse) as an unwitting condition and maintain, therefore, that they should not be held accountable for that over which they hold no control (see The Unruly Member). Certainly beyond one’s sway is morning pride, which, for exonerative purposes, can be identi? ed as matutinal erection. Indeed, if the male can convey an appropriately leepy-headed look, this excuse is good until noon. If one’s nocturnal erection is inexplicably relieved during the night, one has shot the bishop. 77 G p eci? c activity, femin inity, m an o d, ho man sc u , ma liness lin Another actual af? iction is erethism, an abnormal irritability or responsiveness to stimulation. Erethism (it too comes from Greek, but we did not ? nd an y reference to the god of crankiness) is an actual disorder, which does give marginal credibility to the otherwise questionable assertion by some men that for arousal they need no more inducement than a stiff breeze. One could propose either of these ailments as reason for undue . . . excitement, but both are a bit obscure. We suggest one assert oneself as constitutionally inclined to passion. It sounds a bit Edwardian, but far better than randy as a goat. Beware: If one needs to call upon this explanation while wearing nothing more than a trench coat, it is probable the police will look upon one’s suffering unsympathetically. The docket sheet will read lewd conduct, however, not weenie-wagger. Is that a gun in your pocket — or are you just glad to see me? Mae West 78 i nin ity, m anho fe od, manlines s, mas F cul i y, nit ner n, ge icatio forn Humbled in the Act of Love Alternately, if the male member remains ? accid regardless of encouragement, he is suffering from orgiastic impotence. He has not only failed in the furrow, he has no money in his purse, lead in his pencil, ink in his pen, nor toothpaste in his tube. When his ability is thus compromised, he is slack in his matrimoni al duty or leaving the pillow unprest. The culprit is itself deadwood, a dangling participle, dolphin, ? ounder, lob-cock, half-mast, ? t tire, hanging Johnny, or Mr. Softy. at i o 79 The Long Carbine Whether one is endowed with a howitzer or peashooter, guns are, and always have been, phallic symbols. In the 17th century, ? intlock guns had a hammer, a ? int to produce a spark, a lockpan that held the priming powder and a main charge behind the musket ball. When the hammer was released, it hit a small ? int rock igniting a spark that lit the priming powder, and if all went as planned, then exploded the main charge. Sometimes this prehigh-tech procedure back? red and the priming powder ? shed but did not ignite the main charge. Hence a ? ash in the pan, but no shot was produced. If one had game (or the enemy) in one’s sights but needed time to aim, the hammer could be partially cocked. If the gun ? red while in this position, it went off halfcocked—no doubt a quite vex ing and dangerous occurrence. 80 an hoo d, ma nliness, masc ul We recount all of this seeming arcane information only to provide background to fully understand the following: If one achieves an erection but one’s intention is thwarted by a premature ejaculation, one has gone off half-cocked, ? ed in the air, shot in the bush, mis? red, or has experienced a ? ash in the pan. Hanging ? re occurs when the priming powder initially failed to ignite the main charge. This term has come to be synonymous with indecision, not as some insist, a lengthy orgasm. These expressions have been bandied about for both sexual and non-sexual purposes for centuries. When we study their origins, they do make perfect sense. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Attributed to Sigmund Freud m inity, fo rnic a tio 81 t io enera n, g x n, se lity ua As much as it sounds as if it should be, we all know to peter-out is not necessarily a sexual innuendo. In fact, the dictionary de? nitions for peter are as follows: (1) to diminish, (2) to become exhausted, (3) a vulgar name for one’s penis, and (4) one of the twelve apostles. (Insomuch as one’s penis (3) diminishes (1) when it becomes exhausted (2), we will conclude that other than that the Apostle Peter (4) must have had one, he is irrelevant to this discussion). The French word pete means to explode weakly (also an expulsion of intestinal gas). Peter dans la main means literally, to come to nothing. The Dictionary of Word Origins says that peter-out originated with miners in the mid-1800’s (an explanation of which, trust us, is even less relevant than the Apostle Peter). Regardless, what we do know is that to peter-out means to give out—be spent—and usually not with a bang (so to speak). Lest one’s lover be unconsoled, we suggest it is time to explore The French Arts. If one can get it up, but is sterile—? ring blanks, or engaging in a dry bob, one is improcreant. Agricultural sidebar For those unaware, when a horse and a donkey mate, their offspring is a mule, a hybrid. This hybrid cannot reproduce; hence, one occasionally hears an improcreant male referred to as a mule. 82 Dallying, Firkytoodling, and Finkdiddling If one has the Jones for another, as a rule, one dares not jump their bones without ? rst introducing oneself. Under the right circumstances, small talk can be dispensed with, but it is reasonable to insist that if copulation is the goal, at least a little foreplay is in order. This is known as cano